Earlier this week, I saw a news report about parents “rehoming” children they adopted internationally. Apparently, when the going gets tough, you can go online and find an underground network of people who will take your unwanted kids off your hands.
My husband and I both stopped dead in our tracks to watch the segment. We were completely stunned.
The report referred to an investigation by Reuters called The Child Exchange: Inside America’s underground market for adopted children.
(Side note: I hate the term “adopted children.” Adoption is part of a person’s birth story. It is not their life story and it does not define who they are. To me, the proper terminology is children who were adopted.)
Anyway, I have had several friends ask what I think about this investigation and, I must admit, that I can’t read the whole thing without crying. However, I have read most of it and it makes me extraordinarily angry. Here’s why:
- If you adopt a child, you are their parent. You are all they’ve got in this great big world. When you give them away, what are you telling them?
- Parenting is hard. Becoming the parent of an older child is really hard. But, it’s your job. Didn’t anyone tell you that?
- The only reason this isn’t child trafficking is because no money exchanges hands. But, really?
- One couple said they feel differently about the daughter they adopted than their biological daughter. Anyone who feels this way should not be allowed to adopt. We are not talking about animals here. These are actual human beings with real emotions. Grrr…
- There are legitimate ways to relinquish parental rights and place a child in another person’s custody. People who have gone through the adoption process know exactly how to do this. Why would they choose to do anything else?
I could keep going, but I’m sure you get my point. I don’t think it is okay to rehome your child – whether adopted or biological. Actually, I wouldn’t even rehome a dog, so you probably don’t need too many details on my personal thoughts about rehoming children.
Sorry to disappoint, but I’ll be keeping my son…