He has it right, I am wrong.
1- Going to sporting events without me and the kids- Sports are his thing, but I would like to go to the theater, a concert or the movies and not feel bad about it
2- Weekly lunch with friends- We all need time with friends and without our kids, especially if we want to maintain some sort of relationship with friends who don’t have children or have grown kids. I can count with my hands the times I’ve had lunch with friends and coworkers since my son was born almost two years ago- that is not a good thing
3- Working out- This is good for my mental and physical health, as well as a great example for my children; why do I feel selfish doing it?
4- Ordering take-out instead of cooking- I like to cook and I want to do it as much as possible for the sake of our health and budget, but ordering in every now and again should not make me feel like a bad mother/wife/person
5- Leaving dirty dishes on the sink to be done the next day, or having a messy house- I feel like an inadequate woman, he could care less if it takes a little longer to get the dishes cleaned and put away. I like a tidy home, but at this point with a toddler and an infant at home I should let go of the guilt if I don’t get to it right away. Really, who cares what my house looks like?!
6- Leaving me alone with both our kids- I have yet to do this to him, part of me thinks he won’t be able to deal with it, but in reality, I know he could, and I am the one who has a hard time letting go of the responsibility
7- Getting a haircut- I feel like I am wasting time and money, he feels like it is a necessary grooming practice, which obviously it is
8- Paying for activities for our kids- There are many free resources in our community, and we do take advantage of them, but there are other activities we like to participate in that cost money. I hate to spend money on these because I feel like I should be able to teach and entertain them at this point in their lives, instead of paying someone else to do it. My husband sees it as a good expenditure. Again, he wins
9- Leaving the kids with a sitter/his parents to go on a date- I love my husband so much, and spending time alone with him is really one of my favorite things in the world; since having kids, though, all I can think of when we are out on our own is whether the kids are well, which of course they are because they are either with a trusted sitter or my in-laws
10- Going to work- I love my job, and I love the fact that I can work part-time and stay home the rest of the time to spend time with my children. Our childcare arrangement is enviable; for the last year and a half, my son has stayed home with his dad while I am at work, so why do I feel guilty about wanting to work? My husband certainly doesn’t, and neither should I. Don’t you think?