A friendly resource for women who want to lead better lives

Five ways to be alone and friendless

Moving to a new place? Don’t know many people where you live? Here is a list of things to do so you don’t make any friends. How do I know? I did all of these the last time I moved. Lesson learned.

1- Don’t join any clubs.

In general, I am not a club person. I was not in a sorority in college and in my twenties I did not join the Junior League or any other groups or associations. My excuse is that I don’t do well in large groups, which is true, but when you need to make friends, groups are a great place to start. Even if you don’t become a life long member, you may find life long friends.

2- Be shy and keep your distance

I am not the person who walks into a room and openly says hello to everybody, I tend to nod so timidly and greet people so quietly that most people don’t even realize I am acknowledging them. Instead of shy, I appear rude. Nice!

3- Find a job you have to commute to

When you work more than 30 minutes away from the town you live in you are likely to have co workers who don’t live where you do. This means tons of lost opportunities to socialize after work, or turn a nice colleague into a good friend. Finding a job you like is important, but consider distance to your home when you make your decision.

4- Play hard to get

This is not just a game in the realm of the dating world. In fact, making a move towards getting to know someone as friends can be more intimidating than initiating a potential relationship. Instead of waiting for that nice lady you met the other day to ask you if you want to grab a coffee, call or text her instead and suggest a laid back but fun plan, like window shopping or drinks.

5- Constantly say no to plans

I have a friend who was heartbroken after breaking up with her boyfriend of more than 10 years. Although she wanted to stay home, she knew it wasn’t healthy, so she decided never to say no to an offer to go out. Very quickly she had more plans than time to do them. Even if you don’t want to be the life of the party, there is a lesson to be learned here. Staying home when you don’t feel great about life is easy, going out takes more work but it is so much more fun.

To prove that I’ve learned my lesson, and to meet new people, I just asked to join a mom’s group in the area where I now live, even though I don’t know anyone who belongs to it. I won’t lie, I was having second thoughts while filling out the application, but now I am excited to see who I may meet. Wish me luck!

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