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The laid back secondborn

Only 7 weeks into being a mother of two, and I have a pretty good idea of why secondborn children are more laid back.

While some recent studies have shown that birth order does affect IQ and personality, there doesn’t seem to be much more about this from a scientific standpoint. Here is my personal experience and observation.

Baby sleeping

#1 “Nobody make a sound!!!”

#2 Big brother screams in her ear, she does not wake

Diaper change

#1 Diapers and wipes at the ready so fast baby is still pooping when I am changing him

#2 “I will be right with you baby girl, right after I take the red marker off of your brother’s hand (so he doesn’t color the walls)

Baby wakes

#1 Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Screams bloody murder because he knows I’ll be there in less than a second

#2 “Oh you are up! I didn’t hear you make a peep”

Bath time

#1 “This is so fun. Let’s give you a daily bath from day one”

#2 “I think she needs a bath, when was the last time I bathed her?”

Meal time

#1 “Let’s get cozy and I’ll nurse you until you fall asleep”

#2 Getting cozy? Not for this mom. I have mastered the art of nursing and feeding my toddler his dinner at the same time

Bed time

#1 Rocking/nursing to sleep

#2 Fusses for a bit while I am with the toddler, quiets down. When I check on her, she is sound asleep.

These are funny, but the more serious side of this is that I have struggled with how to give attention to my two children. It is not an issue if one is content while the other needs something, but the reality is that this rarely happens; more often than not both need me at the same time. I have asked friends who are moms of two or more, and the answer is that you learn to manage each situation as it comes.

Nap time for two

Nap time for two

Now I nurse the infant before the toddler’s dinner, and I am “wearing” my daughter a lot more than I did my son. Not only is it super comfortable for both mom and baby, but I have both hands available to do other things with the big brother. During long nursing sessions, I get books or paper and crayons to have my son right next to me for some quiet activities.

Moms of two or more, what is your experience with how you cared for your firstborn as compared to your subsequent children?



2 Responses to “The laid back secondborn”

  1. hamidlifewall

    Our second born was exactly like you describe until the toddler year and up. The devil then comes out. The first born follows rules, the second breaks rules…..enjoy this now…:) Please check out lifewall.org and my goal of trying to start a global birth registry. Hopefully you get your two lovelies on there along with yourself. Great post.

    • oliviascribe

      That is definitely coming our way. I am the second and baby of the family, and I for sure was more of a headache to my parents than my sister ever was. Thanks for reading and for sharing about your birth registry!


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